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Name: YYX
Birthday: 11/2/1992
Gender: Female
Interests: basketball, squash, e-gaming, arcades, cell, fighting, eating and infinity more...including writing
Expertise: getting into dc and bashing up my bro
Occupation: slacking
Industry: bedroom
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
4/16/2007
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| just read all my past entries like, from sec 2 and right now my face is super red and hot with shame and bemusement, not from the presence of the Holy Spirit (unlike just now) lol omg i cant believe what an immature screw up i was last time really hope i've changed alot since then ( i should!!! i'm like, 3 years older alrrr?!?!?!?) but anws yeahh this blog, like the other, is a really painful reminder of my past. this shall be my last post on this blog. i wont delete it but neither will i update it after today. i think i'll relocate if i wanna continue blogging but i definitely wont post here anymore bcoz i feel like if i continue to post here, i'm holding on my past and i really dont wanna have anything to do with the past anymore. it alr defined who i am for a very long time. i dont want it to define my future. not anymore. i had my down times and i had my glorious times. i went up mountains and slid down valleys in this blog and im kinda sad im not gonna be posting here anymore after today (after 3 yrs of blogging here??)but its really time to move on (to a new site HAHAHAHA :P) hmmm oh wells anyways i'm relocating to http://constantmobility.blogspot.com
the layout is :S but i dont really care coz the blog is not suppose to show off graphic designing skills tho maybe i'll change the layout after i learn graphic designing hahahaha(:
until then, goodbye KID (nice acronym :P)...i wish i didnt have to let go of you but i cant live in or with the past anymore...
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| in the end, i overslept. but i guess i asked for it, sleeping at 330 + am...woke up at 917 and flopped on the bed like a fish before deciding to move. im so tired now my thoughts are like...super scattered and i cant think straight omg i really just wanna sleep and its only 730pm now.
...well met up with ryan and anlynn again to discuss...then went for cell, which was pretty...amazing...the msg was crazy good and...well just take it as that for now coz i really have to think/pray over some stuff then maybe i'll update again(:
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| ahhhhhhh i wanna sleeeeeep but i cant. not yet anyways. tmr must wake up early to take photo for poly then planning then cell. omgg i really should sleep now luh, srsly. thinking abt tmr...not sian but draining. whyy are my parents overseas when i need them here (to settle enrollment) and they are here when i dont need them to sign/pay for anything??? oh wells ok omg i feel like im whining hahahaa nvm i'm gonna get out of here i really have better things to do luh(:
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| finally got my np enrollment pack...im going np next month whoo after that loooooong period of absolute boredom :P
oh wells i honestly cant wait for sch term to start and put me out of my misery tho i have no idea how i'm gonna juggle studies, dragon boat, syfc and mt at the same time, lol. oh wells it'll work out SOMEHOW hehh...
anws...today met shalom, ryan and anlynn to help shalom with amath and discuss event with anlynn and ryan...i really couldnt stop thinking abt it even throughout mt and on the bus it stuck in my mind and fresh ideas just kept popping out i know its gonna be awesome coz we poly kids rock ;P srsly tho i wish we had sherman the planning genius, i'm glad that we are finally doing something instead of just talking abt it and honestly, if i wasnt involved in the planning i would want to play as well but oh wells too bad i just gotta hope the ppl have as much fun playing it as we have planning the event(: hmmm tmr is fri this week sure passes by quickly but i cant wait for the weekends i know its gonna be awesome!!!
ok i'm really tired coz i got killed for the night session mt...and i need to sleep coz i'm gonna help move stuff tmr soooo goodnight folks!! :D
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| whoo eventful day...so basically when for mt in the morning then met anlynn to shop...after that went for bs, which was...awesome. i really cant help thinking abt it and i really wanna sleep now but...well i think i'm a coward coz well i want the annointing...i mean, who doesnt want it right? but am i willing to pay the price for it? ...honestly, i dunno. Right now i think i'm simon. unsteady, inconsistent. i dunno when am i ever gonna be peter. do i have to deny Christ 3 times for me to become peter? is that the price i'm gonna have to pay? i really cant help thinking abt it. i mean, its so easy to say, Lord i'm willing to lay my life down for You, I will go to the ends of the earth and back etc. but i really wonder, if the Lord replies 'ok go do it' then what? am i actually willing to do so? talk is cheap. oh its sooo cheap. its the doing that is difficult and i really doubt myself. from experience i know that im awesome at pushing but when it comes to shove i just quit. i give up and sit down and bemoan my situation. and then i wonder why i never moved. but then again i guess failing is never a justifiable excuse for not trying again, in fact, its a rather good reason why you should pick yourself up and keep going coz you havent lost till you quit...
lets go for it, im ready for round 2 (:
the reason why i do mt, the reason why i wanna fight professionally is not just coz i wanna train physically, not coz i wanna bash ppl up or anything. based on that alone i dont think i would have lasted till now. today i realised that the whole purpose of me faithfully going for mt and desiring to fight is simply coz i wanna learn the meaning of perseverance. i want to learn to endure, even when its so damn hard, even when it seems i've hit a wall in progress. and when my strength is no longer sufficient, when im discouraged and i start questioning my motives, myself, i wont just give up but rather i'll really just learn to draw strength from God. i dont think He supports me bashing ppl up but i believe that more than the fight itself, i have to learn to endure, learn to persevere, learn to never forget why i train so hard, why i do something, and to just keep going on even when its hard. the beauty of mt is that what you learn is not just for the ring, its for your life too. you dont just become stronger physically, you become stronger mentally and emotionally. and if you're training to fight, you learn commitment and discipline as well coz rain or shine, you gotta train. even if you must sacrifice sleep, sacrifice time and comfort, you just gotta grit your teeth and push on for the belt(:
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